Depression: The Unknown Signs

Quite often we choose to learn things the hard way. I should have recognized the signs of this illness considering I watched my mother go through a similar situation as a young adult. Now I have learned the power of delegation and I love it, but my family…not so much (laugh). On a serious note, as women we choose to take on the weight of the world especially when it concerns our family. This did not end in great results for me. I was thrown into a downward spiral before I knew it and my mind simply shut down from stress. This happened so quick that I was unable to recognize what was happening.

It is so important to realize that God designated women to be a helper to our husbands for a reason. I am not sure how this resonates with other women, but I urge you to only take on what you need to. Take a self-assessment as you start each day. This is so important for many reasons. If you do not stop for self-care, you will push yourself into oblivion There is no purpose served for you or your family and friends. This creates a situation where you are neglecting your mental and physical wellbeing and will eventually have the same result as it did for me. I experienced a total shut down and my mind got to the point where it could no longer push through every day. As a result, everyone around me suffered just as much as I did.

This suffering comes with feelings of disgrace and weakness. Mental illness has such a nasty stigma attached to it. We simply must take care of our minds the same way that we take care of our bodies. Your body can not function properly when you do not have the mental capacity to care for it. I simply did not realize where I was headed.

I self-labeled myself as superwoman years ago. I was a great wife, mother, sister, daughter in law, aunt, and friend. You name it and I could do it. I had gone back to school and completed my bachelor’s degree. I was working on my master’s degree and I was on top of the world. And then my whole world crashed. I was thrown into full blown depression.

When I think back, I can really recognize the signs. I began to lose motivation for going to work each day. When I would make it to work, I would be on the phone with people literally grasping for words to say on a job that I knew like the back of my hand. I began to sleep more and not keep up with my daily hygiene. I had lost all motivation. A close younger cousin of mine passed away and I really believe that was my breaking point. My husband tried his best to get me back on track, but I ultimately had to seek medical help after two straight weeks of nothing but sleeping in bed.

I was nervous, edgy, and constantly in tears. All the years that I poured into trying to perfect my marriage, children, friendships, and family relationships came to a screeching halt. I was unable to give motivation to others because I no longer had it to even give to myself. I could not pick up the phone to talk or return calls and I barely communicated by text. This was a handicapping moment for my entire family because I had never been in this condition before. I do not think that I talked to my husband, siblings, or friends about the symptoms that I was having at that point.

I have always known that communication is a top priority in any relationship, and I did not have the capacity to maneuver through general conversations. I could not get my mental state together to pick up the pieces as I had done many times before. This was very unfamiliar to me because talking and analyzing situations are my strengths. I had to, literally, do the work to get myself back on track. This was the hardest situation that I have ever been through in my life. But I made it, little by little, and I am still here. I have learned so much from this experience. I have been able to break down barriers that I built within myself starting in childhood.

I will give you a warning. If this is your story and you are trying to make changes to get yourself in a better place, people will not understand why you are changing your outlook on things in life. Things like how you spend your time, how you lend a helping hand to others, how you take on other people’s issues, and how you handle your immediate family and friends. I was forced to make myself the number one priority because I could not figure out how to do it on my own. This was foreign for my family. Whether they realize it or not, I am the glue that holds my brothers and sisters together. That is a tough situation to be in when you are the youngest child. It holds a ton of responsibility. My husband and children still have a hard time understanding that I may never become the woman that I once was. I have revamped my life and chosen to put me first. They think that they do not get full access to me now, but the truth is if I did not scale back, I would have nothing to give to myself let alone anyone else. This is not a selfish move. It is simply that I have learned the power of the word “NO”.

Ladies I urge you to seek help if any of these symptoms are recognizable to you. If you are still functional, but you have signs of depression, do not wait any longer. Reach out for therapy. It is helpful and needed in many cases. Sometimes it hurts emotionally. You often must deal with things that you may not have fully dealt with in the past. This is crucial so that you can cope with your current problems in a healthy manner and avoid being bogged down with guilt and worry. Do not let others push you to a place where you cannot or do not want to be. We only have one life to live, and it should be lived your way without barriers that have been designated by someone else.

I encourage every woman to take charge of your own destiny. Live life without limits. Find out what your happiness requires. Work hard to discover your passions and purpose. These may not be one in the same. Realize that God loves you unconditionally. If you are still here and can read this article, He still has something for you to do. Your part in the landscape of this world is not finished. I hate to quote the military commercial but that is a definite truth when they say, “be all that you can be”. Share yourself and your story with others. Your testimony may be just what someone needs to be motivated enough to keep going each day. We often do not realize the power of our verbal testimonies. Lastly, do not ever give up on yourself. You have more power in the tip of your pinky finger than you think. Imagine what can be done if you decide to put your whole mind and body in motion for the greater good of yourself and others.