Tips on Mastering Self Love

Stepping into my 50th year of life has been a blessing, but an eye opener as well. I look back and realize that I have lost so many classmates, family, and friends. They did not make it to see 2021, but God saw fit to keep me here. That lets me know that I still have a purpose that He needs me to fulfill on this earth. There are other individuals tied to my destiny being fulfilled. My procrastination regarding the process of reaching my destination will keep people hanging in the balance on the other end.

There have been many important life lessons that I have learned along the way. I would say that the most important lesson is that no one will ever treat me as well as I treat myself. I lost both of my parents in my early twenties, so my immediate family consisted of my brothers and sisters until I got married. Life is very different once you begin to truly live life as an adult and your parents are no longer there to guide and protect you.

My expectation of others was that they would always give me the same respect and treatment that I gave them. I now know that our encounters with other people will always vary. It is very different when you start expanding your reach in the world. You cannot choose your co-workers, bosses, and everyday individuals that your life intertwines with.

In some cases, people do not have the same foundation or capacity that allows them to give back to you all of what you pour into them. I learned from listening to the great Pastor, T.D. Jakes, that a person’s cup may only be half full compared to your cup which is full. No matter how much you hope and wish for them to give you more, they can only give you what they have. Their response will not match yours because their giving capacity just doesn’t match your expectation.

This was a tough reality to face, but it resolved so many issues for me. As my father used to say, you can’t get blood from a turnip. In other words, you cannot get something from someone that they do not have to give. I have learned to try to fulfill my own needs instead of looking to others for approval or consent. Self-satisfaction is key.

After experiencing many disappointments, I temporarily lost my joy. I have always been a happy person even as a child. But sometimes constant heart break can be overwhelming. Digging myself out of that personal hole has been one of the toughest feats that I have ever conquered in life. It is rough, but it is doable, and I am more determined than ever. My relationship with God has always been constant and I know that he won’t fail me even when man does.

I have a renewed outlook on what the rest of my life will look like, and I stay in constant prayer about my purpose. I have realized that God knows me better than any person ever could. I am seeking His guidance for every part of my journey so that I know my steps are ordered by Him. I am ready to enjoy the second half of this journey. I am looking forward to it. My children are grown, and I am working on moving through my marriage from a different seat in life. I realize that I must take life one day at a time and live in the moment. I don’t owe an explanation, for what I do, to anyone except myself. I must love and respect my husband, but I do not owe him a thing. When a person comes to this realization, You are well on your way to mastering life.